On the Outside Looking In
by SoftNoodle
Summary: AU SessKag MirKag. Sesshoumaru leaves Kagome for a woman who carried his child. He returns after mistakes were made, only to find that perhaps his place in her heart had already been taken by someone else.
1. Chapter 1

SM: I've decided that I should post _something_ since I haven't posted anything for so long. Writing has been a slow process, and I've been as busy and lazy as ever. I wrote the first chapter for this story ages ago, so the style is a bit different than my current style. Also Inuyasha has quite a foul mouth. Nothing spectacularly original here, but for some reason I kind of like the path it takes. I expect this is be a very short fic, no more than four chapters max. The second chapter is almost complete, so depending on my house burning down or not, I hope that I will be posting more regularly in the future. No promises though. I thank everyone who sticks with me as I am a terrible, terrible fic-writer.

**Summary**: (AU) SessKag. Sesshoumaru leaves Kagome for a woman who carried his child. He returns after mistakes were made, only to find that perhaps his place in her heart had already been taken by someone else.

-:- -:- -:-

-:- -:- -:-

-:- -:- -:-

**On the Outside Looking In**

**Part One**

Sesshoumaru neatly folded his clothes into the suitcase. It was dark outside, but he didn't bother turning on any lights. He didn't need any. Kagome always kept the house spotless, and everything in its place. He knew the room by heart.

Inuyasha burst in on him as Sesshoumaru was arranging his ties by his socks. "I do not _believe_ this! You're really going to leave? Just like that! Abandon her?!" The young man shouted.

"You use those terms, not I." The older man replied calmly. He mostly ignored the ranting youth, more focused on making sure the level of his dress shirts was even with the level of his slacks in the suitcase. Kagome was well off. She had a stable job, a steady income. She didn't need any help from him. It wasn't like he was neglecting her or throwing her to the wolves in her time of need.

"Shit! You really are leaving! You son of a bitch!" Inuyasha ran an irate hand through his hair, disbelieving that he was really watching his older brother pack up his things from an apartment he had shared with his fiancée for the past year and a half.

"Really. How juvenile, Inuyasha. You should learn to keep a clean mouth in your head." Sesshoumaru chastised.

"'Juvenile'? _I'm_ juvenile?! _You're _the one who's not mature enough to stay. _You're_ the one who's walking out on her. And you're calling **_me_** 'juvenile'!?!!" Inuyasha pointed at him accusingly.

"Yes, Inuyasha. _You _are the juvenile. _You _do not seem to understand the situation I am in. I have no other choice."

"Fuck it, Sesshoumaru! You could make it work. The only problem is _you_!! _You _fucked yourself right over! And _your _solution is the crappiest one I've ever heard of! You're only making it **worse**!"

"Who I choose to marry, and who I choose to leave, are my decisions. Not yours." Satisfied with his packing, he clicked his suitcase shut.

"Ah, so your decision is to choose some eight-timing whore who spreads her legs for anything that looks fuckable??"

"_Sara _is not a whore." Sesshoumaru bit out, turning to finally face his younger brother.

"Of course she's not! She's only some bitch you picked up from the bar one night when you were totally smashed, and decided that adultery sounded fun. So you fucked her in your car, on your car, in the elevator on the way to your apartment-"

"That is enough." His jaw tightened.

"-inside your apartment, in God only knows how many places, until your Mr. Happy refused to perform since it probably got sick and tired of being plunged in some VD-ridden hole, and you had to tuck him back into your undies to hide your shame." Inuyasha continued, his rising voice over-riding that of his brother's.

Sesshoumaru glowered.

"Not that anything could be hidden after you knocked that bitch up, anyhow. It's a surprise that you didn't catch anything from her. I just hope that your baby isn't some disgusting spawn considering who its parents are, a whore and an inconsiderate asshole who likes to think with down south of his waist. You're a disgusting piece of shit. I just hope that you can live with it for the rest of your li-"

Inuyasha was cut off as his brother slugged him across the face. He snarled. "You have _no_ idea what you're talking about! Do you think I wanted this to happen?! Do you think I _want _to leave?! What choice do I have!! I will not sire a bastard child! Marrying her is the only option! I must salvage my honor!"

Inuyasha smirked from where he sprawled on the floor, propped up by the edge of the bed. "Your precious honor, eh?" He grinned, wiping off the blood trickling down his chin. "I think you lost it somewhere after your horizontal hula with the whore, along with your pride, courage, and honesty. You're a nothing more than bastard with a big name."

"What would _you_ have me do?!" Sesshoumaru snapped, waving a hand.

"Tell Kagome the Goddamned truth! It's not that fucking hard!" Inuyasha snapped back, pointing out the obvious.

Golden eyes narrowed. "Simple as always. It must be great being you, everything is in black and white. What if I told her? She would throw me out anyways, and I'd still be marrying Sara. It would make no difference. I'm only speeding up the process."

Inuyasha gaped. Was this thickheaded buffoon really his brother? Kagome wouldn't do that. She would probably take the baby and raise it as her own. She would be mad, who wouldn't be, but she would forgive Sesshoumaru for simply telling her, no matter how late it was.

Sesshoumaru should have known that!

Unless...he wanted to go.

Was he trading in Kagome?

Sara wasn't pretty. She wasn't smart. Hell, she didn't even have a warm body. He had seen her once, and that woman practically radiated icicles. Plus, she was insane for Sesshoumaru. That woman would murder the baby growing within her womb herself if Sesshoumaru demanded it! She was a crazy bitch. What could Sesshoumaru possibly see in her?

Sesshoumaru, seeing that Inuyasha had nothing more to say, picked up his case and turned to leave.

"What would you have me tell her?"

Sesshoumaru gave a negligent wave. "What does it matter? Tell her I've died for all I care." Then he left. He didn't look back. He didn't see Inuyasha's jaw clench. He didn't see hands that curled into tight fists at his brother's sides. He didn't see amber eyes narrow in silent promise.

"Fine, then I will." Inuyasha muttered darkly.

-:- -:- -:-

Marriage was not pleasant, but Sesshoumaru had tried to make it work. He really had tried. But Inuyasha had been accurate in his brusque description of his wife. Sara was unbearable.

At first, things seemed to go well enough. They had married without much trouble, a private wedding where neither of their families had been involved. He had not wanted his family present, and she had no family to invite, so it worked out rather well.

Their baby had been born without mishap. A healthy baby girl, with dark hair like her mother, and the same eye color as her mother. Her face was round, and her skin was pale, but not as pale as Sesshoumaru's skin.

It somewhat perturbed Sesshoumaru that their child did not seem to have inherited any of his characteristics, but he did not mind too much. It was not like he could control what genes the baby had inherited.

They had moved to a new apartment on the other side of the city. Sara was eager to leave the slums she called home and move as far away as possible. Sesshoumaru would not go further than the other side of town until he had resolved some issues with his business. He decided to leave it in Inuyasha's care while he pursued interests elsewhere.

They had moved once more in less than a span of one year, this time, leaving the main island of Japan.

Sesshoumaru did not return for over thirteen years.

-:- -:- -:-

Inuyasha's fingers drummed impatiently on his counter-top.

Late.

Always late.

Damned Miroku!

He should've been here seconds ago! Kagome would string him up by his feet and shave him bald while he dangled helpless if she found that he was late one more time! The firm knock at the door startled Inuyasha out of his lamenting.

"Finally!" He shouted throwing his hands in the air. He stomped over to the door and wrenched it open. "I don't know about you, Miroku, but San...go..." He trailed off gawking as he stared at the person standing in the entryway. "Sesshoumaru?!" He gaped a few more moments before slamming the door shut on his brother's face and stomping away.

Unfortunately for him, he forgot to lock the door. Sesshoumaru easily slid the unlocked door open and stepped through. "I see your manners have hardly improved since last we met. In fact, I believe they have degraded." He said tritely by way of greeting.

Inuyasha just scowled. "What do you want?"

At this, Sesshoumaru paused, losing the confidence he wore like a second skin. "I suppose that saying that I came over to say 'hello' would be unacceptable." He murmured, speaking more to himself than to his sibling. Seeing Inuyasha's frown deepen, he straightened. "I've come to make amends." He said clearly.

Apparently, this was not what Inuyasha had been expecting. "Um...did you want the company back?" He asked, confused and slightly suspicious. He was prepared to return the company, albeit with some strings. Inuyasha had made some changes he couldn't afford to be allowed undone.

"No." The reply was instantaneous, as if Sesshoumaru were appalled.

"Well, what _do_ you want, then? I haven't got all day." His eyes flickered to the clock. "Tell you what, you uh...leave now, and decide what you want, then come back. Say...tomorrow at uh one? Noon? Lunch! Yeah, come back at lunch. Then we'll talk." He said hurriedly, all but attempting to push his elder brother out a window.

Startled by Inuyasha's not so subtle attempts to get rid of him, he slid for a few inches before he dug his heels into the ground. "Inuyasha." He hissed. "What are you doing?"

"Arg! Look!" He stopped to clench his hands into fists. "You have to leave! Some people are coming over, and they won't exactly be pleased by your presence." He said, amber eyes glittering. "Not that I am either." He added bitterly.

It was hard to forget that the man who walked out on his best friend for some other woman, was his older brother. He was still pissed, but at the moment, he was more worried about his friends finding out that said man was in his apartment than chewing off his brother's head. They would kill him first, before he could explain, and then chew off his brother's head.

Sesshoumaru's eyes took on a shadowed look. "I'll come back at noon then." He said, and disappeared out the window, which Inuyasha remembered a moment too late that he lived on the fifth floor.

He timidly poked his head out, hoping that he wouldn't see a pile of splattered brother spreading out on the pavement. Luckily, there was nothing there. He sighed before his face scrunched up.

God damn, Sesshoumaru!

Was there anything that man couldn't do? He scratched at his head irritated.

-:- -:- -:-

True to form, Sesshoumaru arrived the next morning precisely at noon. Inuyasha had used the night before their meeting as time to reflect. He had come to a solution to all of their problems, especially with Sesshoumaru.

"I think you should leave." He told Sesshoumaru the moment that both were seated.

Sesshoumaru looked unsurprised. "That is not an option. I have come back. I have no intention of leaving."

"Where is she?" Inuyasha inquired, knowing that both would know exactly who he was talking about.

"There have been...difficulties between the two of us..."

"Where is she?" He repeated pointedly. Inuyasha would not listen to another word out of his brother until he answered his question.

"Locked up in a cell in the States." Sesshoumaru replied coldly.

Inuyasha stared. He wasn't sure he had heard the man correctly. Was he assuming that his brother, the steadfastly stubborn, pig-headed moron of a sibling, who gave up a wonderful relationship in order to pursue marriage with a madwoman obsessed with possessing Sesshoumaru through any means necessary, had _left_ said woman in another country, and _incarcerated_ no less!

"It is not what you think. I had no other choice. In a fit of insanity, she murdered her daughter out of spite or jealousy. I am not quite sure. I had yet to fully understand the depths of her madness before I could prevent it. She now resides in an asylum with no prospect of release. She is a permanent resident." Sesshoumaru said tonelessly.

More gawking. Inuyasha hadn't quite been expecting that. "Um..." He didn't know what to say. He wasn't put out in any way that Sara had been locked up, she had it coming. But...the loss of a daughter in the process. "I'm sorry for your loss..."

"She wasn't my daughter."

"Er..." '_Run that by me again,_' was what he wanted to say.

"Sara...had been under the delusion that if she bore my child, I would wed her."

_Some delusion. It _**happened**. Inuyasha wisely kept his thoughts to himself.

Sesshoumaru continued as if he were unaware of his brother's contemptuous thoughts. "In this manner...she wanted to 'keep' me. However, she had also...had relations with many other men. When she became pregnant, she convinced herself that it was a love child borne between the two of us, despite many characteristics that came to light later on. I had a blood test run within a few months of the birthing. The child was not mine, but I decided that since I had already married her, I would keep up the pretense. It was a few weeks ago when she found me conversing rather intimately with another woman, who I might add was Yura."

Inuyasha stifled a snicker. They had both known Yura when they were younger, before she had moved to the States. She was a bit on the crazy side, but a party girl at heart. She was obsessed with hair, especially their hair. She was also a lesbian.

"Sara mistook the situation, believing I was cheating on her. She demanded that I return home immediately or else she would harm our daughter." Sesshoumaru's expression tightened.

"She made quite a scene. In my ire, I rashly pointed out that the child was not mine. She raced home in horror. I quickly followed. Unfortunately, by the time I had reached the apartment we shared, she had already killed her own daughter. She was only eleven…" The last part was so quietly murmured that Inuyasha had to strain to hear it.

"She kept muttering to herself that this would 'keep me with her'. I had her institutionalized immediately, dissolved any accounts I had there, liquidated my US assets, and returned to Japan as quickly as possible." Sesshoumaru listed off coolly.

If Sesshoumaru hadn't been the asshole that Inuyasha knew he was, Inuyasha would have been impressed by his level-headedness. It was certainly a trait that the younger brother had never inherited, and he somewhat envied his older brother for it.

Instead, his face twisted.

"Isn't that great. So, when Life Number Two craps out on you, the great Sesshoumaru decides to waltz back in on Life Number One! The one he WALKED out on! You left a lot of people here, Sesshoumaru! Many of them actually cared about you, and you just up and left them without a word. It was hard for them for many years. They didn't take it too well! What do you hope to accomplish by coming back?" He demanded, leaning back and crossing his arms.

Sesshoumaru paused in deliberation.

In truth, he had thought of this long ago, what he wanted. However, it was much harder to fulfill his desire than to dream it up. "How is..._she_?" He asked almost tentatively. He couldn't bring himself to say her name. It seemed wrong, especially after all this time.

Inuyasha's expression melted instantly. Ahh...so that was why he had returned. He had suspected, but now Sesshoumaru had confirmed it. He wanted _her_ back. Rather, he was attempting to crawl back to _her_. If he could help it, Inuyasha had tried to not bring it up. No one had been more devastated by Sesshoumaru's leaving than _she_ was. He had tried to help in what little way he could. It would be difficult to undo what he had done, and he wasn't willing to try, especially not for the two-faced bastard that stood before him.

"She's fine." He said tritely, unwilling to say any more.

"I see." Sesshoumaru paused. He knew the moment he had voiced the question, how the conversation would go. Still, he had taken a rather daunting lesson in humility, and he wouldn't back down now. He had learned his lesson well, and even if she would not speak with him, he still wanted to apologize and at least explain himself. "Would it be-"

"No." Inuyasha cut him off. "I think it's better if all is left alone. She's not expecting you back, not ever. Just finish your business here and leave. It's better this way."

His brother seemed taken aback. "Just...what did you tell her? What was your explanation for my leaving?" He asked, a weighty dread filling his belly.

Inuyasha gave a wry smile. "I took your suggestion, of course."

-:- -:- -:-

It was snowing. Just his luck really. Standing outside in the cold, while it _snowed_.

It hadn't been too hard to track down Kagome, even with Inuyasha not so conspicuously trying to sabotage his efforts. She hadn't really moved far...or even at all, really. She had a bought a small house just a few blocks down from his old apartment. It was nearer to her previous home where she had lived as a child. He stared through the gate at the large window. The glass had been meticulously cleaned, with only the slight fogging of the glass to bar his view of the scene within.

Kagome was smiling as she stood next to a taller, dark haired man. A chubby infant gurgled happily in his high chair. The three were gathered around a table, settling into dinner. Warm smiles and cheerful faces spread around. Kagome passed the dishes. The man spooned food onto his plate and not so discretely plopped some food onto her plate as well. Kagome laughed as she fed the baby.

Sesshoumaru watched wordlessly before turning his back on the happy scene.

-:- -:- -:-

Kagome stiffened, her eyes darting toward the large window, peering outside of the house. Her face paled slightly.

"Kagome?" Souta questioned. "Is something wrong?"

_I thought I saw…_ She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. "No." She replied smiling. "I suppose it was only wishful thinking on my part." She bent down toward the baby. "Your son makes me wish I had a family, you know?" She brought up a spoon toward the child's mouth. The baby burbled,, smiling, and promptly spat up all over her hands.

Kagome wiped her hands on a towel as Rin walked back in from the kitchen.

Rin giggled. "He spit up again, didn't he."

Kagome grinned. "Yeah. Quite a handful you have there. Adorable though." She gave the infant an affectionate pat on the head.

Rin looked at her seriously. "You'd make a great mother, Kagome. You just need to settle down."

Kagome shook her head. "No, there was only one person for me." She said quietly. "Like there is for you and Souta." She gave a meaningful look to her little brother.

He nodded in understanding.

"Awww!" Rin threw her arms around her sister-in-law. "You'll find him! I know it!"

Souta stilled, eyes sliding toward Kagome.

She shook her head, she'd already come to terms with his passing. She would just continue to live on, and maybe, if she were lucky, she'd find someone to love again. But she didn't hold out much hope for that. All she could do was to live out as happily as she could right now. "Thanks Rin." She replied, returning the embrace.

Kagome sighed, looking at the clock. "Well, I have to go now. But it was great seeing you guys. We need to get together again some time."

Souta groaned audibly. What a liar his sister was. He knew what she was doing. She was going to go home to an empty house, and sit in her solitude, all the while believing that she had intruded on their happiness. Damn it!

_Nooooooooooooooo, don't leave!_

Instead, Souta forced a weak smile to his face. "Yeah, that sounds nice."

Her own smile was no less thin. "I'll see you later then." She said softly.

Souta walked her to the door as Rin fussed with the baby. "Kagome, really, we don't mind it if you stay longer. In fact, I would love it. Please stay?" He pleaded, turning his eyes wide and watery, his infamous puppy-dog look.

Kagome just shook her head. "I'm sorry Souta. I just…I kind of want to be alone right now."

Her brother sighed. "Alright. But as soon as you start feeling social again, give me a call." He said, eyeing her meaningfully.

"Of course." She replied easily.

Too easily.

It gave him a bad feeling, but he wouldn't push her. She had gone through a rough time. So he let her go, and watched with no small sense of foreboding as she walked a lonely path down the street in the snow.

-:- -:- -:-

Kagome blew on her hands. She had removed her thick gloves and allowed her fingers to be numbed by the cold. It wasn't the wisest thing to do, but she had always enjoyed the feeling of freshly fallen snow being crushed between her fingers. Her cheeks were cold and tinged red, and her breath escaped her lips in white puffs.

She loved the winter. Everything was coated in the purest white. It reminded her of _him_.

She rounded a corner slowly, taking her time as she always did in walking home.

Then she saw _him_.

He stood so still at the other end of the street. She knew that he wasn't really there. He was as white at the snow, and standing as still as a marble statue. She mused that if she were to touch his cheek, he would be as cold as marble as well. His eyes were as she remembered, bright gems of topaz, burning with the intensity of silent emotions. He looked sadder somehow, but she did not know why.

She had not dreamt of him for a while, and she had thought that she had passed this stage a few years ago. She said nothing as she walked past him, keeping her head bowed, and her eyes trained on the ground. Watching the illusion any more would simply make it hurt. Perhaps Souta had been right. She needed to spend more time around people. Her reclusive nature was regressing her.

But as she passed, he turned, an arm reaching out for hers. Her body followed the motion and she started as she met his eyes.

_He…moved._

Usually Sesshoumaru would remain in her mind, a still figure. Standing always out of arms reach, a never moving statue. Never once since she had started to dream of him had he ever reached out for her. This was something new, something different. She could feel his grip on her arm, strong and firm just as she remembered. White clouds billowed from his own lips as he breathed. His eyes flashed and dimmed in the pale light. Her dreams had never been so real.

She reached up tentatively, her eyes entrapped in his gaze. He seemed to be asking something of her, but she didn't understand. Her bare hand reached up to his cheek.

Was he real? Could she touch him?

Or would her hand simply pass through him, and his image would disappear to leave her alone in the snow. Her hand paused a hairs-width from contact. She could feel the heat of his face, the gentle breeze of his breath. But he couldn't be real. He couldn't be here. Her hand trembled.

"Kagome?" He asked, his voice soft and strong. The soothing tenor of her memories.

Her white face paled. But he couldn't be here! He couldn't be real! She inhaled sharply and fainted.

-:- -:- -:-

-:- -:- -:-

-:- -:- -:-

SM: Er...not the best place to end it, but to keep from fantastically and horribly long chapters, this was the next best place to break it. I'm really really really hoping to finish this as soon as I can. ( . )


	2. Chapter 2

SM: To answer a few questions I have received, one: No I am not dead. Hooray! Two: I was asked about the age of all the characters. Originally I wanted them to all be adults, and very mature. Hence the thirteen year timeskip. But, the characters have still retained childish demeanors, actions, and sometimes thoughts though I have tried to make them mature, especially Inuyasha. I suppose I just can't help that. But Sesshoumaru should be around late thirties, and everyone else would be early thirties, or there abouts.

This chapter takes a turn that I really hadn't expected it to take. I finished it extremely late at night so forgive any errors my sleep-blinded eyes may have missed. And this is looking to be a three-parter. Next chapter should finish it up.

-:- -:- -:-

-:- -:- -:-

-:- -:- -:-

**Part Two**

Kagome awoke to a familiar face too near to her own. Before her conscious mind caught up to her body, reflex had already slapped him across the room.

Inuyasha burst out laughing. "Serves you right man! Kagome's deadly, even half asleep!"

Miroku rubbed his cheek morosely. "But I assure you, my lady, my intentions were pure!"

Long since used to her friend's silver tongue, she merely huffed at him before studying her surroundings. What was she doing here? Wasn't this Miroku's apartment?

"Miroku found you out passed out in the street, Kagome." Inuyasha's voice suddenly turned serious, losing all mirth. "What were you doing alone in the cold, and gloveless?" He demanded. "You could have gotten frostbite! You walked home alone again, didn't you?" Now Inuyasha was standing, his face inches from hers.

Obviously, he had waited until she was coherent before he started scolding her. She knew he worried for her, and that was sweet of him, but she couldn't help the way she had felt, and still felt for her friend's older brother. Even knowing that Inuyasha disapproved of it.

"Um…it was only from Souta's." She replied meekly.

"Then what did you do? Stand outside in the cold until you couldn't feel your hands? Where were your gloves, Kagome?" Inuyasha sniped. He seemed to be on a shorter fuse than usual, but then, it might have had something to do with worry over his dearest friend having the sudden desire to become a human Popsicle.

"I had gloves." She said quietly, much like a chastised child.

"Then why weren't they on your hands?" Inuyasha raged on, oblivious to Miroku's attempts to calm him.

"I saw _him_ again."

Her softly spoken comment froze the both of them. Miroku's face became concerned whereas Inuyasha's normally tan face whitened to match his hair.

"He was so real this time, I thought…maybe he had come back." Kagome continued, staring at her lap.

A slight frown pulled at Miroku's face. He rested a hand on Kagome's shoulder, edging closer toward her.

She shook her head. "I _know_, Miroku." She let out a short, bitter laugh. "I know he's gone, and for a long time now, but for some reason I can't accept it. I've been trying. But some days, I just think that I'll look out the window, or answer my door, or see him in the street. And he'll be there." A sniffle cut her short. She turned, tearful eyes onto her friend, a sad smile on her lips. "Stupid, huh?"

Inuyasha's lips thinned, his eyes narrowing to amber slits. His hands curled to fists at his side. Yet he said nothing. Miroku, too focused on Kagome, didn't notice.

"Not at all." He said gently. Worry tugged at his chest. He hadn't mentioned the footsteps near Kagome when he had found her. They had looked fresh, but if a man had been there, and Miroku was sure that it was a man from the size of the print, he couldn't imagine a person cold enough to leave an unconscious woman in the snow like that.

She was too sweet a person to abandon, by anyone. And she loved with her whole heart, so much so that it hurt her. So no matter how long it had been, Kagome still wasn't willing to let _him_ go, no matter how much she wanted to. She had truly loved him, and to have suffered such a loss…

Miroku stared at Kagome's down turned face and watched her as she looked at her folded hands. She was biting her lower lip and her brows were furrowed as she lost herself in her thoughts.

Without really even thinking, he pressed his lips against hers. Kagome, frozen, stared wide-eyed at her friend before a growl ripped them apart. Inuyasha, tore his best friend from his other best friend. "MIROKU! WHAT THE HELL MAN?!"

"I…" His eyes darted to the stupefied Kagome.

She looked at him, confused. "Miroku…?"

She suddenly found her hands clasped in his. "I've decided. You will bear my child!" He declared, a goofy grin plastered across his face.

Miroku was slammed from behind by Inuyasha's very irritated fist. "God dammit, ya idiot! What are you thinking!" He looped his arm around Miroku's neck in a headlock and began to tighten his grip, forgetting that Kagome was sitting there. She allowed a small smile to grace her lips. Miroku always did know how to cheer her up, even at the cost of his own bodily harm…

"Um…" She stared worriedly at them. Miroku's lips were turning blue…

She swallowed. "Inuyasha?"

He looked up, releasing Miroku suddenly enough that the poor man collapsed onto his floor. Miroku's face had already turned an interesting shade of indigo by then.

"Yeah, Kagome?" He asked, his expression worried.

"I think I should be getting home now." She replied, sliding from the bed.

"No!" Inuyasha's arm shot out so quickly, his mouth moving before he could articulate his thoughts properly.

She glanced up at him, surprised. "I mean…you passed out in the snow. You should rest here for a while." He muttered. He'd be damned if he let her back to her apartment. With Sesshoumaru hanging around her like a stalker, she couldn't be left alone. She'd actually be safer in the apartment with Miroku than out there by herself. At least until he got things figured out with Sesshoumaru.

Inuyasha had told Kagome that Sesshoumaru had died in some fiery car accident while on a business trip in the States. She had taken the news poorly, as he had expected. She hadn't even wondered why he had been in the States without contacting her, though Inuyasha had concocted some story that it had been an abrupt and emergency meeting. He hadn't ever thought that Sesshoumaru would actually return. So in a word, he was screwed until he could explain Sesshoumaru's sudden resurrection.

He didn't suppose that "oh my, Sesshoumaru hadn't actually died and has completed his rehabilitation in the States and is alive and well, it's a miracle!" would work on her. He needed a better plan, like getting Sesshoumaru out of Japan as soon as possible before anyone noticed that he was back! That sounded good.

Meanwhile, Kagome was looking at him with a questionable expression.

"You want me…to stay here…in Miroku's care?" She asked haltingly. That was a first. Usually, Inuyasha trusted Miroku with girls about as much as he refused ramen, never.

"Just, stay here. Okay? I'll explain later." He waved his arms impatiently. "Sit tight, take care of yourself, and don't let the pervert touch you. It'll be fine!"

She stared at him. He was acting much more agitated than usual. It was quite endearing. He did care for her, she knew. They had been friends for a long time, and they had always trusted each other. She wouldn't start to doubt him now, even if he was acting more strangely than usual. He normally had a set pattern of being gruff but kind, sometimes pigheaded, and the standard insufferably enraged.

"Okay." She nodded. "I'll sit here like a good girl." As if to demonstrate she folded her hands in her lap, and smiled.

"Good." He answered absently. "I'll be back later." He backed from the room, eyes trained on Kagome as if she'd bolt any second, then was out the door with a farewell cry of "if you touch her I'll personally rip your arms off, Miroku!"

Kagome looked at the floor. Well, there shouldn't be any problem with her touching him. She bent down and dragged Miroku's suffocated carcass upwards.

"Why…are you…so heavy!" She groaned, hoisting up his dead weight. "Tub of lard." She muttered as she huffed.

"Pure muscle, I assure you." He murmured opening his eyes.

Kagome snorted "More like pure bonehead. Must you tease Inuyasha when he's already so irritable? You'll only cause yourself bodily harm."

"Seemed like a good idea at the time." Miroku grinned, finally gaining his feet. "Besides, I think having you bear my child would be well worth any pain Inuyasha could inflict."

Kagome rolled her eyes. "You say that now." She turned away, not noticing the slight frown that traced his features.

To her, it had been just a joke. No man could look at her that way. And for her, she didn't think she could look at another man that way either. It was simply too hard to think of it, to risk it. She didn't think she could take another heartbreak like that.

Loving so deeply also cut quite deeply.

Miroku sat down on the bed beside her, close enough to comfort, but far enough so they weren't touching.

"I meant it." He said simply.

Kagome tensed.

"Really." He murmured, looping one arm around her shoulders.

It took almost a full minute for her to relax. He didn't mean it, he was just being a good friend, she convinced herself.

"Liar." She replied quietly, but leaned into the half embrace, resting her head on his shoulder. She closed her eyes. "I'm not pretty enough for your taste." She said sleepily. Getting so excited had tired her out. Passing out in the snow wasn't such a good idea after all.

The corners of his lips turned down, but he didn't move nor speak. He just watched as she slowly fell asleep at his side.

"I'll decide what's my taste." He said quietly, once sure that she was asleep.

He watched her for a few minutes more before shifting slightly and gently laying her down on the bed completely in what he hoped was a comfortable position. Then he stood and headed toward the kitchen. It was a cold winter this season. Soup sounded good and he'd have to start soon for it to be ready by the time she awoke.

-:- -:- -:-

"SESSHOUMARU YOU STUPID IDIOT! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Inuyasha yelled as he pounded on the door of his brother's hotel room. His hand was clenched around a scrap of paper that had his brother's contact information. Sesshoumaru had left it at his apartment the last time he was there.

He almost snorted when he saw the address. A hotel! Either his brother was hoping to get into Kagome's good graces soon, fat chance of that, or he wasn't on planning to stay long. There was no way Sesshoumaru would have approached him until he was set up in a satisfactory manner.

He glared at the door, willing his brother to open it before his neighbors called security.

On the seventh angry pound, the door swung open. Sesshoumaru stood, in all his disheveled glory, running a hand through his hair. "What?" He growled.

Inuyasha gaped. Whatever had happened to leave his brother in a state less than perfect. The top three buttons of his shirt were undone! Sesshoumaru, no matter how sweltering the heat of the summer sun was, _always_ buttoned up completely. Sesshoumaru even had rings beneath his eyes.

"Well?" Sesshoumaru shot his younger brother an irritated glare, as if Inuyasha had rudely awoken him at an inappropriate hour, though it was well into the afternoon.

Inuyasha regained his steam in an instant.

"You!" He poked Sesshoumaru hard in the chest. "You went to go see her, didn't you?" He yelled.

Sesshoumaru bared his teeth. He grabbed Inuyasha by the arm of his poking finger and dragged him into the room. "Lower your voice, idiot. Do you _want_ the clientele to call security?"

Inuyasha glowered. "Don't you scold me. I'm not the one who fucked up here." He scowled.

A breath rushed out in a whoosh. "So what did you come here for?" Sesshoumaru asked, walking to the kitchen for a cup of water.

"Why did you go see her?" Inuyasha demanded.

Sesshoumaru stared at his water. "I simply wanted to see how she was doing," he said after a moment. He downed his water. "What does it matter to you, anyways? Are you her keeper?"

"Yes! I am her keepter! And I forbade you from seeing her!" Inuyasha punctuated his words my stomping over and willing the glass in his brother's hand to shatter.

"No you didn't. You said that I shouldn't see her." Sesshoumaru set the glass down. "She fainted when she saw me." He rounded on his younger brother. "Tell me, why was that?"

Inuyasha managed not to look too guilty. "I told you that you shouldn't go see her. It would have been better for everyone if you hadn't come back." He said quietly. "She thinks you died. I never thought you'd actually come back." He ran a hand on the back of a chair, not looking at Sesshoumaru.

"So, to her I'm just a ghost." Sesshoumaru mused, looking into his glass and swirling it. "Is that it?"

Inuyasha nodded mutely.

Neither said anything for a while. Sesshoumaru because he was thinking, and Inuyasha because there was nothing more for him to say.

Finally, Sesshoumaru sighed, coming to a decision. "Is she happy?" He asked.

Inuyasha released an exasperated groan. Sesshoumaru always knew how to ask the questions Inuyasha didn't want to answer. He frowned. "No." He answered after a moment and a breath.

Sesshoumaru's shoulders relaxed and it was then that Inuyasha saw how tense and nervous he was. Kagome still meant a lot to him. Sesshoumaru probably never did stop thinking about her. But if he had loved her so much, it confused Inuyasha more to think that Sesshoumaru had willing left her. Or why he had even allowed himself, a normally very controlled person, such a cruel indiscretion as cheating on her.

"But she's learning to move on." Inuyasha continued, not wanting his brother to get his hopes up too high. "It's taken her a very long time to recover, and she's starting to get better. If you still want what's best for her, you shouldn't complicate things." And it was true. The wounds on Kagome's heart were far from fresh, but they weren't healed completely either.

"Is that why you told me she was seeing someone?" Sesshoumaru questioned, remembering the family he had watched through the window. Kagome, and that other man. But if she still loved him, Sesshoumaru might still have a chance. Though he knew that she was not the type to leave her husband if she were happily married. "Who is he?" He asked. "The man she's with."

Inuyasha gulped, realizing he'd screwed up somewhere. Sesshoumaru still thought that she was going out with someone else, but he'd slipped in that she still wasn't over Sesshoumaru's 'death.' "Uh…" His mind flashed to his friend making a move on Kagome. "Miroku." He blurted without thinking it through.

Sessshoumaru's lips thinned. That perverted friend of Inuyasha's? It certainly hadn't looked like him through the window. Somehow, that other man looked kinder, less world-weary.

"She…married Miroku?" He questioned, not quite certain.

"MARRIED!" Inuyasha yelped, surprised.

Sesshoumaru was instantly suspicious. "I went to her house. She was married, with a small child."

"Um…" Inuyasha's ears reddened. Crap! He must've seen her at Souta's. Kagome's name was on the deed, but it was Souta who lived in the house. She had bought him the house as a present for when they married and had remained the owner as to take care of all other expenses. She had plenty of money since she hardly spent anything on herself.

"Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru's voice lowered dangerously, knowing he had been lied to. "Is she going out with anyone?" He asked, staring at his brother in the face. Inuyasha never could lie to his face.

"No." Inuyasha muttered.

Sesshoumaru swept past him and out of the hotel room, leaving Inuyasha behind to curse himself.

-:- -:- -:-

Souta listened to the dial tone. The phone rang and rang, and when Kagome should have picked up the phone but didn't, Souta began to become worried. He hung up, not waiting for the voice mail. He stared at the house phone.

"Rin, I'm going to Kagome's place." He said, putting on a coat. "I left her a message on her apartment phone last night, and she's not picking up her cell now." He stopped at the door to peck his wife on the cheek.

She gave him an understanding nod. "Tell her to come over for dinner again. I have a _great_ lasagna recipe I'd love for her to try."

"Thanks. I'll tell her." Souta replied with a smile. He gave her a farewell wave, then pocketed his hands and trudged down the few blocks to her apartment.

Knocking on her door, he waited and when there was no reply he asked her neighbor, a kind middle-aged man named Souma, if he had seen her. He hadn't, not since early yesterday. Souta thanked him and left the apartment complex more worried than before.

He called Inuyasha if maybe he had seen her, though he hadn't heard from the man in the past few days. From there he got a somewhat hasty reply that Kagome was at Miroku's apartment. With a fervent thanks, Souta hung up and trotted to Miroku's apartment. It was a bit further away, but not so far that he wasn't willing to walk. Hurrying his steps, he thought he saw a white-haired person running his way for a moment. The person looked too familiar and he paused to stare. But then the man turned sharply out of view in the opposite direction.

Souta shook his head and plodded forward. What was he thinking, that Sesshoumaru would be running through the streets. Perhaps the cold was getting to him.

He puffed little white clouds of breath as his pace picked up. For some reason, the worry really was eating at him. He couldn't get to Miroku's fast enough.

Knocking on the door, he shifted from foot to foot impatiently. Miroku opened it, slight surprise crossing his face upon seeing Souta.

"Come in." He invited.

Souta nodded his thanks and followed Miroku in, stopping to remove his shoes and taking a seat in the living room. Miroku padded into the kitchen.

"I'm making soup." Miroku said from the other room. He stirred a medium pot slowly. "You're sister is in my room," he pointed with the wooden spoon. "She's sleeping right now, but she's fine. She just needs a bit of rest."

Kagome was safe! Souta allowed himself a small sigh of relief, inwardly berating himself as to get so worked up. "How?" He asked.

Miroku stirred the pot slowly. "Unconscious in the snow." He replied. He pointedly did not look at Souta while saying that, knowing what worry would be crossing the young man's mind.

Souta frowned. Again! Kagome had done that a few times before, standing out in the snow, thinking and remembering, until her whole body had gone numb. Souta had gone out to fetch her more than once from the front of his house as she stood and stared at the snow, remembering _him_ of all things. _He _had liked the snow, and she had loved it. They had spent much time in the snow when they had first decided to start going out.

For quite sometime after Sesshoumaru's passing, Kagome would wander outside often, come winter. She would simply stand and contemplate until someone found her and brought her back inside. Many times Souta had received a call from Souma-san about her. Souta shook his head, his lips thinning.

"Don't worry. I haven't touched her." Miroku added mildly after a few minutes. He was staring too intently at the contents of his pot. It could use a few more vegetables.

"I wasn't going to ask anything like that." Souta said, looking up. "I trust you."

A wry smile crossed Miroku's face. "Well, you can't blame me for thinking that, though." He commented, aware of Souta's thoughts on the matter. Out of everyone else, Souta was the only one who saw.

Souta pressed his lips until they whitened. He was silent for a few moments more, deliberating on his next words. He decided that enough was enough. Kagome couldn't keep losing herself in the past like that. She needed to move beyond it and see that maybe, there was someone else who could care for her more.

"I know that you wouldn't do that," he said, "and it's because you love her." He added the last part quietly. It was sudden and quite frank, but Souta never knew how to mince words.

He was very aware of Miroku's feelings, he had been for a long time. But as Miroku had not acted, he too had done nothing. Instead, they both watched Kagome's slow descent into depression, and very slow recuperation after Sesshoumaru's death. Perhaps a change of pace was needed, and Souta was quite certain that Miroku could help. He had always been looking after Kagome's well-being, even if few noticed his subtle actions and words.

Miroku had gone very still, his hand clenching tightly around the wooden handle of the ladle. The room was filled the quiet hiss of his gas range burning beneath the pot as both sat in silence. Slowly, Miroku turned down the gas, wiped his hands and turned around.

"I never pegged you as being so blunt." He said, watching the towel as he twisted it in between his fingers.

"I never thought of you as much of a housewife." Souta returned nonchalantly, indicating the dark blue apron Miroku wore about his waist. Now that he had said those words, he wasn't quite sure how to continue.

Miroku chuckled, his hands behind him as he untied the apron. He tossed it over the counter. "So I guess this is the part where I become all indignant and sputter and say that I don't love her?"

"But you do love her." Souta stated so plainly that Miroku almost choked.

Souta thought he saw a hint of blush staining the older man's cheeks. It was nice to know that Miroku was, at the very least, very honest about his feelings.

"So, now what?" He asked, finally turning around to face the younger man. Inwardly, he was trying not to panic. He had suspected that Souta might figure it out, he had been the only one to see him watch Kagome as he did, but to be confronted with it so candidly, Miroku was more than ill-prepared.

This was where it became tricky. Souta's expression became a bit more uncertain, and Miroku was relieved to note that this was new ground to both of them.

"I was hoping that maybe you could try…to show her that…it's not all bad." Souta said so hesitantly that it was hard to make out what he wanted. Kagome had loved Sesshoumaru, loved him so much. Souta had never seen her happier than when she was with him. But if him being gone had caused her so much pain, then it was better if she forgot him completely. She needed to move on, and Miroku would be kind and reliable, and he would be what she needed. Souta was sure of that. Now, he just had to convince both of them that it was for the best.

"It's past time." Souta finished, his voice brittle and slightly bitter.

Miroku nodded. "Thank you." He said.

Souta only shook his head. "It's for Kagome." He replied, voice vaguely cold.

Miroku understood. It wasn't that the younger man was being needlessly cruel, putting his sister's feelings before Miroku's and using him. Rather, Souta was becoming desperate, and Miroku had been his last chance. Souta was grasping at straws, and any shred of evidence that could make his sister happy, he would take it. He had seen Miroku, and he had seen Miroku with his sister. Miroku was his last bet.

The elder man let a small smile grace his lips. He hadn't truly thought that Souta would be the one to push them together. He had imagined Souta yelling at him while Inuyasha bit his head off when he tried to explain to them that his feelings for Kagome weren't impure or perverted. He just hadn't known how to do so. He hadn't been a truly honest man on the outside for a long time, but Kagome had always been able to bring out a slightly more sincere side to him.

It was refreshing. And it hadn't taken him long to pin down exactly what kind of affection he held for her. He was glad that it was the right kind.

"Um…I guess I'll be going now." A faint blush graced the young man's cheeks. Souta's expression returned to that of the youthful and innocent young man he was, rather than the wary and desperate one he had held before. Eyes brighter and a small weight of his shoulders, Souta stood. He had no idea how to properly thank him, but he was grateful nonetheless. Kagome needed this, and he hoped that in time, things would be better. He wanted to give her all the time she needed.

"Thank you." He said quietly and offered a quick yet respectful bow. Young people rarely showed such manners presently, so Miroku took it as a sign of true gratitude.

Miroku stood and lowered his head in reply, and Souta was at the door once more. He paused briefly as if contemplating something and turned his head to face Miroku, a shy smile on his lips.

"You know, I think Kagome's making progress and everyone is getting over the bump of the past, and yet little things still surprise me. Kagome, I think will always be heartbroken over him, but him affecting her also affects the rest of us. The really funny thing is, I thought I had seen him on my way here." He babbled, the relief loosening many restraints he had kept on himself. He shook his head at his own imagination.

"I suppose the stress is getting to all of us." Souta added, smirking, and then he left, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Miroku had smiled in mirth at Souta's comment, but as soon as the door shut, his expression darkened. A particular piece of revelation had clicked in his mind.

He would need to talk to Inuyasha.

-:- -:- -:-

Kagome was dreaming.

She knew she was. It was only in her dreams that she felt such warm hands, such kind words. She was being held gently and she kept her eyes closed, not wanting to wake up.

The person was speaking so softly and so wistfully that though she could not interpret the words spoken, the tone behind them told her what she needed to know. She smiled in her sleep and snuggled closer.

Abruptly, everything changed, and she opened her eyes in surprise.

Above her loomed a silhouette too familiar to be real. Her own eyes wide in shock and slight fear, she watched as he extended a hand to her. It was a pale hand with fine-boned fingers and a palm that could envelop hers so easily.

She stared at it. Studying it's features and remembering details that only she knew.

There was a slight callus on the middle finger, on the side of the first joint, caused from holding a pen and writing all day. The lines on the palm were all long, and the one running across was continuous. She knew that the back of the hand was especially sensitive and just as warm as the palm, an unusual trait. And she also knew that the moment she placed her hand in his, her hand would disappear from her eyes she would be drawn toward him.

She knew that hand, but for some reason, the hand she knew and remembered, she didn't trust. It made no sense at all for he had always been honest with her. She needed to take the hand, but she wasn't sure if it was what she really wanted. He hadn't been there with her for a long time.

When she woke up, the ghostly image of a pale hand lingered in her mind.

-:- -:- -:-

-:- -:- -:-

-:- -:- -:-

SM: Now a question as I see that this fic has listed toward a MK pairing possiblity, should it finish as SK or MK? I really have no idea as I can write it ending both ways, and this question has thus stumped production of the third and final chapter. I'd love to hear all suggestions. Thanks for reading.


End file.
